Saturday, June 16, 2012

Force - no thank you

I read an interesting article the other day - Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, by Amy Chua. Basically the author claims that Chinese mothers are better because they never settle for anything less than absolute perfection from their children.  While expecting great things and hard work from our children may not be bad, the parenting methods she claims as "superior" are bad.  She belittles, shames, berates and screams at her children if they do not perform up to her expectations.   I just cannot believe that calling your child "garbage" does No damage to them (as she claims).

I have also been reading  Wild Swans -Three Daughters of China.  I am wondering if the parenting method Chua describes has evolved from the techniques Mao and others have used to exert control over the people.  Her methods are very similar to what tyrants do/did to create fear and subjugation among the people.   The communists used humiliation, shame, screaming, even torture to force people to do as they wished.   (Chua gives an example of making her daughter play the piano for hours without breaks even to go to the bathroom - that is torture to me!)

Chua's article made me sad.  Sad that anyone would see "force" as the best method to achieve anything.  Force is Satan's plan.  Force creates resentment and hostility.  Force damages relationships and drives away the Spirit.  Force is NOT superior.

1 comment:

  1. Her book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" goes into it even more extensively. I heard Rachel DeMille call her methods "The Competitive Coveyor Belt."

    I also recently read "Bringing Up Bebe" which is "the French way" of raising babies-- and I don't completely agree with it, either! The French don't breastfeed long, if at all, and French women refuse to look like a "mom." They've got some serious "Hot Mom" Syndrome going on.

    I think our ancestors had it right! My favorite parenting books tend to be the Classics. :-) (My grandmothers, Mrs. Stanton and Mrs. Wilder are my heroes!)

    Let me know how you like "wild Swans." I've heard it was good, but also that it has some questionable stuff in it, too.