Failure Is the Lesson

Giving my children the freedom to fail has to be the most difficult and scary part of parenting. But how else do we really learn? I think about babies learning to walk. How many times do they fall down before they succeed. Every time they fall they learn something about gravity and balance. Every time they fall their muscles are strengthened and their coordination improves. It is the failure that prepares them for the success. The reality is, if I never let my child fall, he will never learn to walk.

As parents we tend to know this intuitively and we allow our babies to fall. We even encourage them by laughing and cheering them on. Yet, somehow, as our children get older we become more reluctant to let them fail. Sometimes we are concerned about the consequences they will face, but I think most of the time it is because of our own pride. What will others think of us, if our child fails? Will they think we are "bad" parents? Will they think we don't care? This even carries over into our school systems. Teachers don't allow students to fail, because it makes the teacher or school "look bad."

By robbing our children of the opportunities to fail, we are robbing them of opportunities to learn. When a child fails and has to try again and again, until he succeeds, he learns that he has the power to overcome obstacles. He learns that hard work eventually pays off. He learns that "he" controls his destiny.

Failure isn't a bad thing. Failure is a necessary part of learning. I don't know about you, but I have learned much more from the times I've failed, than from the times I've succeeded. Will that make it any easier for me to let my children fail? Probably not, but I'll try to learn from my failures and allow my children to do the same.

What does that "a" mean?

This is for Jackie and a few others who asked...

"To muse" means to think, ponder or meditate. When you place an "a" before a word it makes it negative or the opposite of the original meaning.

"A"muse therefore means "to not think, to not ponder, to not meditate"

I chose this title on purpose to emphasize that I am choosing to think. I am choosing to ponder and meditate and gain my own opinions.

I think it is interesting to note (and think about :) the fact that most of our society is focused solely on being "amused." We as a culture spend millions every year on entertainment. We purposefully spend our freetime trying NOT to think. Is it any wonder we are in the state we're in?

Confessions of an Extremist

In the last few years I have decided to pursue my education again. No, I am not going back to "school," but I am studying, writing and discussing great books and ideas with others. One of the areas that I am pursuing is the study of freedom and the founding of our great country. I am ashamed to admit that until recently I had never read the constitution (Oh, I probably did in 8th grade civics class - but it didn't leave much of an impression!).

I am truly amazed at what an inspired document our constitution is. As I have been studying the federalist papers, the writings of Thomas Paine, the lives of the signers of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, I am coming to appreciate the sacrifices that were made in my behalf. I am gaining a vision for the freedom they wanted me to have. And this saddens me greatly, because I am also realizing that most of these freedoms have slowly been stripped away from us. How could we, as Americans, have allowed this to happen? Why have we been sleeping?

I am also seeing that many of us who were asleep are now waking up, and this is scaring those who are in power. Those with "power" don't want us to wake anyone else up. They don't want us to realize what we have lost. They don't want us to bring the constitution back. They tell us that it is "outdated" and shouldn't be honored because it was written by "rich, white, slave owners." They label us as "extremists" and "anti-Americans" to try to discredit us. They try to frighten us into being quiet by telling us they are keeping "a list" of anyone who disagrees.

But anyone who has truly gained a vision of freedom will not give up without a fight. Those who fought the Revolutionary War were called rebels and ruffians. I know that I am willing to take a stand. I want MY children and grandchildren to be free, even if that means I have to suffer or even die. So I guess being an extremist just puts me in good company.